Bitter

Bitter heart..
Why so bitter?
Please stop being bitter.
I don't wish for bitter heart.

She loves herself but hates herself in the mirror.

You don't like me and I don't like me and its unlikely.

When I was a young girl I used to seek pleasure. Now I don't really know what kind of girl I am.

I don't want to have an eating disorder but food no longer makes me happy.
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You want to be a good person but deep down you know that you're not good enough.

I've written so many different words to you but they all say the same thing.

I cant shake those memories
wanna put my tender heart in a blender
watch it spin to a beautiful oblivion.

when it comes to being lucky, she is cursed.

we danced so close
we danced so slow
we danced so loveless

Ideology

You are always haunted by the idea that you are wasting your life.

Happy thoughts,
I miss you.
Come back quick.

Put it away
Put it in your notebook but get it out of yourself
Away so you can't curl up with it anymore.

Failed poem

I want to put these words down
Like they meant something
I want to make you think
That I am a great artist
I want you to feel some deep heart change
I want to write as if my soul is reeling with ecstasy
But the feeling of clay has come over me
I feel dead
An empty vessel
Holding cold liquor
Which may as well be water
Which may as well been never bought
Or even thought about
I want to put these words down
But I cant even think of a harmony
Or violence
Or a smart word
I want to put these words down
But I will never be heard.

Give me something more
A little bit more
I want yours more
You know more.