Meenah Merapu Laa

otherhalf

2011-03-30T20:19:00.001+08:00

p/s : 20+1. I give myself permission to be with you.

2011-02-03T23:42:00.000+08:00

Cant believe I've been wearing hijab for over a year. It was a giant leap putting on my hijab. I had a few crisis about 2 or 3 months after starting to wear it. I really started to think that maybe I was too fast..still remember the time when I get that feeling of wanting to change. I was so scared that if I ignored that feeling, it might never come back. So yeah the next day, I go grab a scarf and cover my hair. Then the 'so uncool' things happened. I was thinking about all the stuff I missed out on and also there are peeps-not very supportive. Most of my friends still don’t wear hijab but for myself, Alhamdulillah I have gotten used to it & Im pretty much happy with it.

2010-12-22T16:12:00.000+08:00

"People want to be liked. We all crave attention and affection and we all reject shame. When we get embarrassed we send a thug version of ourselves to the forefront to do our fighting for us. We’re at the top of the food chain just under fear. We don’t want to be in a relationship to hear the words “I love you,” we want to be in a relationship to say the words “I love you.” We want to feel needed, and exceptional and we hate feeling insignificant. We want to ace a hearing test. We are binary creatures; if we’re the plaintiff, we want to win every dollar. If we’re the defendant, we want guard every penny. We want to make more money than last year. We don’t want to get cancer or die in our cars and we want the same for our loved ones. We go out on weekends to try and have sex while trying not to get punched in the face. We drink so we can be ourselves and not mind it so much. We’re desperate to be understood. We want to know someone else has felt it, too. We hate being judged unfairly. We want to make the person we heard wasn’t all that into us change their minds and admit they had us wrong. We want sunny skies with a chance of killer tornadoes, just to keep music sounding good. We take hours upon hours to admit to self consciousness. We don’t know exactly how to pleasure each other. We just want love. In any and every form."

2010-12-12T17:18:00.000+08:00

I moved around from town to town
lots of people around, but still so lonely

friendships would grow then I'd hit the road
making up excuses for why I had to leave

always been too scared and unprepared
to let anybody get too close to me

but when I met you right away I knew
you would never ever ever hurt me

and the road's still long but you come along
and you hold my hand and you understand

when I look at you I can't believe it's true
you're all I ever dreamed of and you love me
and you love me, and you love me

lunch,shopping,pussycat,hiking.

2010-11-30T23:54:00.001+08:00

2010-11-30T13:42:00.000+08:00

"People call these things imperfections, but they're not, aw that's the good stuff. And then we get to choose who we let in to our weird little worlds. You're not perfect sport. And let me save you in suspense. This girl you met, she isn't perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you're perfect for each other. That's the whole deal. That's what it's about."- Good will hunting

we danced so close.we danced so slow

2010-11-15T00:16:00.001+08:00

Lately I just can't shake it
I count the days and seconds and minutes
These thoughts burn a hole in my heart.
God I wish I could make this right
I wish that this is it.

I know it's not your fault, but I'm a locked door

2010-11-10T18:17:00.000+08:00

note to self

2010-11-05T22:39:00.002+08:00

Dont lie about being happy if youre not. There is someone who cares about your happiness and they may not always see through the lies. Tell them, they care.

The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving the present.

via Tumblr

someone you used to know

2010-10-29T03:10:00.000+08:00

We are who we were when. Could have been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend. ~Anberlin

everybody but me

2010-10-24T03:45:00.000+08:00

I believe that I am my own person and that I will do as I please and do what pleases me. Im not as strong as I make myself out to be. Im scared just like everyone else. I got hurt. Really hurt. And sometime when that happens, something inside me shuts off everything. I cant emotionally commit right now. Sorry. There are some things that still need to be said but maybe later.

me

2010-10-21T03:43:00.000+08:00

"There's no shame in being afraid. Hell, we're all afraid. What you gotta do is figure out what you're afraid of, because when you put a face on it you can beat it. Better yet, you can use it. Looking back on what I said all those years ago, all the hopes and dreams I had, I've come to the conclusion that if having things turn out the way you wanted them to is a measure of a successful life, then some would say I'm a failure. The important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past, and recognize that every day won't be sunny. And when you find yourself lost in the darkness of despair, remember, it's only in the black of night that you see the stars, and those stars lead you back home." - one tree hill.

I guess I havent written anything for so long..I know a lot things I can share and talk about but yet I guess, I prefer to keep everything to myself these days. but i've been there, done that..feeling tormented and disappointed with life..but I then realize that it is not really at the end of the world. that things do happen for a reason.

Letting go and moving on are another phase in life. but to start all over and choosing the best things in life are what matter the most.

I learn that theres no point to live up with the measurement of other people's expectations. this is your life. this is your happiness. you create you own happy ending. God has plannned everything to you, your whole life. but it is really up you to navigate and choose which directions you wanna go. you are the writer for those chapters.

BUT.

it doesnt give you any rights at all to create these uncool reasons to yourself and other people to do what you're doing now. being afraid and doing something stupid. believe me, you and the people that you love/ loves you deserve better than what you are doing now.

prove? take a look around. are you actually just content and happy with what you have right now or is there something missing that you've wanting all your life but you're just too afraid to go for it?

What are you afraid of? being hurt all over again? rejection? heartbroken? there will come a point in our life where we will have to go through this phase. the simplest example would be the death of our mother or father. so by this i can say that its perfectly normal for everyone to feel that way.

I'm not pointing this out specifically to anyone. maybe this is about me. or maybe this is about you. or maybe this is about us. who knows? but what I'm trying to say here right now that it is never too late to change the situation. For God sake, for at least for the first time in your life, give chance to yourself to be happy and stop hurting yourself and people around you.

if you think that eventually God will point out the right way to you then you're wrong. He has given you the brain to think. the eyes to see. the heart to feel and other senses to help you decide the right thing in life. utilize it. use it.

you will never know what you gonna get at the end of the day. insyaAllah..as long as God permits

#

2010-10-18T03:00:00.000+08:00

Its 2.50a.m & Im still doing my ETR slides.
My brain cant work like how it used to.
Its shitty & I need major HELP.

4 days to go :)

2010-10-15T08:03:00.000+08:00

Shah Alam-Seremban-Melaka

2010-10-14T19:30:00.002+08:00

Kajang & Penang

2010-10-14T18:53:00.002+08:00

July-Kajang

October-Penang

hey - eatliz

2010-08-22T14:43:00.000+08:00

RA

2010-08-20T18:17:00.001+08:00

Rheumatoid arthritis (RA) is an autoimmune disease that causes chronic inflammation of the joints. Rheumatoid arthritis can also cause inflammation of the tissue around the joints, as well as in other organs in the body. Autoimmune diseases are illnesses that occur when the body's tissues are mistakenly attacked by their own immune system. The immune system contains a complex organization of cells and antibodies designed normally to "seek and destroy" invaders of the body, particularly infections. Patients with autoimmune diseases have antibodies in their blood that target their own body tissues, where they can be associated with inflammation. Because it can affect multiple other organs of the body, rheumatoid arthritis is referred to as a systemic illness and is sometimes called rheumatoid disease.

While rheumatoid arthritis is a chronic illness, meaning it can last for years, patients may experience long periods without symptoms. However, rheumatoid arthritis is typically a progressive illness that has the potential to cause joint destruction and functional disability.

A joint is where two bones meet to allow movement of body parts. Arthritis means joint inflammation. The joint inflammation of rheumatoid arthritis causes swelling, pain, stiffness, and redness in the joints. The inflammation of rheumatoid disease can also occur in tissues around the joints, such as the tendons, ligaments, and muscles.

In some people with rheumatoid arthritis, chronic inflammation leads to the destruction of the cartilage, bone, and ligaments, causing deformity of the joints. Damage to the joints can occur early in the disease and be progressive. Moreover, studies have shown that the progressive damage to the joints does not necessarily correlate with the degree of pain, stiffness, or swelling present in the joints. (medicinenet)

I have Rheumatoid Arthritis(RA) and it can’t be cure. I actually suffered by RA since I was fourteen as symptoms appeared during that age. I completely ignored em’ as I thought I felt pain here & there due to not enough rest. As years go by, I finally decided to set a date with dearly doctor. Done some blood tests for this and that and then the results said that I’m perfectly positive for RA. It sucks big time. RA somehow affects what I do throughout the day. The most common symptoms that I suffer are fatigue, morning stiffness, muscle aches, joint pain, weakness, burning or itching eyes, hand and foot deformities, limited range of motion etc. Everyday I have to consume lots of painkillers and supplements just to get thru the day.

Doing this everyday makes me feel like I’m forever sick.

bla

2010-07-26T22:47:00.000+08:00

wow

I completely forgot about this blog. heh. owh well malas

Sabah

2010-05-28T16:42:00.003+08:00

Its been a week dah in Sabah. Settled the OPKIM thingy, stayed for few days with family angkat, climbed Mount Kinabalu(okay tipu, stakat kaki gunung jerr), jungle tracking with wedges(style sungguh), played some cool music instruments, learned new dance moves.ehehe.had so much fun here. Alhamdulillah my Penang team teramat awesome! Still dapat maintain our sewelnesss eventhough banyak benor drama ha. Will post blambak photos soon.hee. Our flight home is on the 31st. Might gonna stay with kak Nani at Sri Kembangan for few days then only I balik Seremban. Owh yeah. Tomorrow shoppingggggg kat KK!!

little bit

2010-05-17T01:33:00.000+08:00

hands down
i'm too proud for love
but with eyes shut
it's you i'm thinking of

p/s : dear mr.future, where are you?

homesick

2010-05-05T11:53:00.000+08:00

Counting days til I get to be with them again.

I could really use a wish right now

2010-05-02T16:40:00.002+08:00

I'm on the pursuit of hapiness and I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold.

Feels like ages since my last post. Caught up with hectic schedules and its been 2weeks++ struggling with my finals. I wonder if anybody out there even bother bout this blog. Well frankly, I’m one of them. I seemed to be not giving a shit about Meenah Merapu Laa anymore. In fact I’m paying more attention to Its Moe Junk that its Tumblr. At there I won’t have to write anything to express my feelings. I can just reblog or post photos or anything from other people's Tumblr or maybe little stuff of mine. I can also post graphics or songs here in Meenah Merapu Laa too but it’s different here. I created Meenah Merapu Laa due to my passion on writing. The passion... it seemed lost. I love to write. I really do but something just made me stop writing. Instead of writing here, I moved to Tumblr to the job. I’m just lazy or maybe I’m just...sighing. This doesn’t mean that I’m ditching Meenah Merapu Laa for good. No I’m not. I’m still going to stick to it.

Hmm. to start off I’ve been through a lot since this blog gone hiatus. My huge transformation-from the curly hair hardcorechick to a girl in hijab. From being ‘I’m someone’s girl and we’re so madly in love’ to ‘I’m not attached and everyone except my future husband are prohibited from playing love game with me tq’ and the list goes on and on and on and on... There’s always ups and downs but hey at least I know that I’m a survivor baby! Now Imma strong girl nigga. lol. Along the journey, bumped to new faces, the bond between the old friendzy getting stronger, family getting merrier with arrival of new babies, selected as one of Uni’s ambassador for a cultural exchanging students thingy and Insyaallah middle of May I’ll be off to Sabah. I’m really looking forward to that.hee :D and again the list goes and on and on and on. It seems that good things just keep on happening to me. Alhamdulillah.

My birthday is coming up. 5 days left. Not very excited about it though, I just...

don’t want to be alone on my birthday.

On Peak Hill | Stars

2010-03-05T18:44:00.001+08:00

All I could say was “are you coming home soon?”
The static whisper in my ear
But in a moment your voice was clear
“I need some time,” you said to me
That’s when I knew you were gonna make me lonely

you cant say no forever

2010-02-22T22:58:00.001+08:00

work work work

2010-02-20T23:40:00.002+08:00

Documentary

2010-02-20T19:02:00.001+08:00

hijab

2010-02-11T16:35:00.003+08:00

Paris Je Taime - Quais de Seine
François: You have beautiful hair, why do you have to cover it up?
Zarka: I don’t have to. I choose to.
François: Too bad cause you’re so pretty.
Zarka: You mean I’m not beautiful in my hijab?
François: That’s not what I meant.
Zarka: You and your friends don’t know shit about women. Why talk to them like that when you can see they don’t like it? If I want to look beautiful I do it for me. When I wear this I feel part of a faith, an identity. I feel good. That’s what beauty is. Tell that to your friends then maybe one day, they might even get laid.

google you google me

2010-02-03T14:47:00.000+08:00

this appeared as I opened the google homepage

just for fun

2010-01-04T19:25:00.002+08:00

You are The Empress
Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.
The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents, beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.
The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

moi

2010-01-02T01:16:00.001+08:00

tomorrow will be the last day for me to mingle around with my family. Had a great time with em mase sem break & not forget my fav routine "shopping" sangatlah awesome. New handbags, tops, jeans, shoes etc. Thanks to my full-time bankers Daddy Cool & Sugar Mama for spendin their precious duit-duitan on me. Dah start rindu kat my niece - Arissa Sabrina, wont get to celebrate her a month yr old bday(heboh nk sambut). Sooo gonna miss the little rascal - Adam Luqman & to the geng gelak ketawa yang tak senonoh-okay dah start missing you guys cam hell weyh! Class start Monday ni. Routine bangun awal-awal pagi gi class pun gonna start blk. Huuuu. Owh yeah, dating season will be on again. Ehe. kecoh jer.padahal during sem break de gak tatap muka buah hati almost everyweek. Cheers for that love.

I end this year with you

2009-12-31T23:15:00.000+08:00

Tahun lepas terserempak ngan pelbagai lelaki yang bermacam-macam jenis punya perangai. berulang-kali memegang status sbg perempuan simpanan. air mata suci & gelak pontianak bersilih ganti. punya sayang melampau til xkenal erti penat doa selalu tuk org lain sampai abaikan kepentingan diri ada gak hal sampai sorang dah pergi redah laut then pulang tukar status bujang ke berpunya. tu belum lagi hal geng-geng jadikan diri ini as perempuan simpanan. now leyh cool-cool lagi. siap boleyh chillin ngan diorng semua. kekasih gelap & cinta dahulu kala pun dah tak terlekat dihati. benda lepas tu biar jadi hal lama-lama tak payah nak ungkit & no need nak jadi obses semacam. tutup buku lama & start buka buku baru. Alhamdulillah tak habiskan sisa-sisa akhir tahun 2009 dengan status perempuan simpanan. aku lambai kat 2009 & bagi salam kat 2010 as bini kepada si lelaki kuat dalam gambar dibawah.

nota kaki : happy new year kepada wahai kawan & sang anti-syarmeen. *peace sign*

my fav couple

2009-12-25T21:19:00.003+08:00

for the parents, I so dearly love Mama & Daddy. what a blessing the both of you have been to me. having two loving parents as great and loving as you. you two are great and I am so proud for your 30th year together! I love you both with all my heart & I hope for so many years for you two together.

Happy 30th Anniversary

My Young Eclair

2009-12-24T13:49:00.002+08:00

I know that youre hurt. Im sorry if I wasnt there for you or nethin. Its just that Im out of words. I cant find the right words to mend you cause I myself dont think that Im good enough to give you any words of wisdom. I miss you dearly. I really do & I wish that we could spend more time together. That short visit to your house during Raya its just not enough. Pape pun yang, I want you to know that sometimes we love people so much that we have to be numb to it, because if we actually felt how much we loved them.. It would kill us. So in order to end this heartache, I think... maybe its best to let go.

Be strong love.

it was last week, Tuesday.

2009-12-23T09:41:00.001+08:00

cinta bersama muka garangnya sanggup kemari dari Damansara utk bersama I.

thanks B.

otw terjah Jeram Toi . Ewat as the dirver

anak-anak dah xsbr nak berenang.

yang holdin' hands- Afiqah & Ewat

gay berdua kt blakang tu- Boy & Anep

yang berbj biru- anonymous

ini Ewat selaku swimmer pertama.

Ewat & Boy dalam persediaan melakukan terjunan bersama while waitin'

for Anep simpan his glasses.

as you can see, me selaku photographer

anak-anak menjadikan air terjun sebagai machine urut badan

meet Afiqah's new girlfriend- Achiee

this is mista Izaimi. abg besar for this trip.

orang nie bilang that he hanya mahu shoot video kami berenang comel-comelan

meet si forggy

now turn kitorg nk terjun.

Mun berjaya redah sungai while me?

tergendala dek takut.ehe

ini peneman I dikala ketakutan nk redah sungai.

maklumlah sungai dalam yaw~

misi Ewat membasahkan rambut Mun

akhirnya berjaya.

ini kita panggil dua pasang

tak sangka de paparazi snap kami lak. :P

we calld this sesi membelek rantai

pas swimming, lil break jap afta dat pack brg2 then all of us go hiking

mencari-cari laaagi cantik punya spot.

kami dah jumpa tempat yg berkenan di hati.

pada awalnya ada sepasang merpati sejoli disitu

sebaik kami jejakkan kaki disitu,

mereka terus membuka sayap & terbang jauuuuuh.

kekasih sangat suka-suka coz dia boleh melakukan

aksi spiderman iaitu memanjat batu-batu yang licin lagi merbahaya.

me pula tak habis-habis menjerit pinta kekasih turun kerana takut keksih jatuh & pecah kepala.

as you can see, kami turut menjadikan tempat ini sebagai pentas lakonan

sempat jugaklah sorng tu memegang watak "Hang Ewat"

ada orang berbaju kelabu sudah tidak dapat menahan nafsu

at last, dia pun join sekaki.

when I kata sekaki tu mmg sekaki jer.

coz org tu ltk kaki dia jer dlm sungai.

sebelum pulang, bersantap.

kami semua pelahap

lapaq sgt

ada org gelar this x-rated.padahal xde niat pun

the tiny spoon gone missing so I use my finger :D

both suka memerli antara satu sama lain.

tak boleh diam seminit kalau bertemu

packin before off to JJ

one big happy family.

this is afta Jeram Toi. this is afta I anta my lover to Terminal.

to my boyfriend-- I kene gangguan sexual by 2 perverts.

conclusion : Im happy the most when Im with my loverboy,family & bestfriends

I'm your ch ch ch ch ch cherry bomb!!

2009-12-21T10:46:00.000+08:00

Hati sangat riang-ria afta tgk this movie trailer. The Runaways is one of my fav all-girl rock band & I just cant wait to watch this movie!! well the story is about the groundbreaking '70s female rock group the Runaways. this movie byk focus on the duo of guitarist/vocalist Joan Jett "the pure rock&roll heart"(Twilight's Kristen Stewart) & the lead vocalist/keyboardist Cherie Currie "the sex kitten meow"(Dakota Fanning)-this missy dah beso panjang ha. huuu.wtv.. im soooo gonna watch this movie!

alhamdullilah

2009-12-11T08:00:00.002+08:00

Im sooo happy.

After what Ive gone tru last semester.

now Im very happy happy as I can ever be
but not really that happy tho when I get the 'news'
papepun THANKYOU to my study partner a.k.a loverboy

alhamdullilah pointer naik.

next sem gotta make the pointer boost up.

you can do it Syarmeen binti Mohd Farmy!

meet the little rascal

2009-12-10T11:33:00.000+08:00

Adam Luqman

happy theme is ON

2009-12-09T17:30:00.003+08:00

Im happy seeing those faces yang dah cam decades tak berjumpa.

This is my happy time.

~~~

I even get to the chance to mingle with loverboy during this semester break.ehe.

lg few more days we go mingle again aite B

insyaallah next week all of us are gonna set our butts to Jeram Toi.

hopefully sume ada skali.

its a girl

2009-12-09T16:52:00.002+08:00

meet the new little princess.

daughter of Zekry&Ima.

my nieceeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

changing line

2009-11-28T14:45:00.000+08:00

soon gonna change from prepaid to postpaid. thats mean I might not going to use the same number that ive been using for the last seven years.
so nomore me gonna spend most of my allowance on topups.
thanks Daddy!

I say lay & out.

2009-11-27T02:50:00.003+08:00

Im happy with the new layout. sumpah penat, sakit mata dok tenung berjam laptop nie ha. dah almost 2weeks lebih cuti. hardly kuar, if kuar pun stakat jadi si driver. last 2days baru dapat tatap muka Ewat. the others belum balik lagi. serious shit rindu u guys! & i havent get the chance to mingle with my loverboy yet. Insyaallah next week dapat jumpe. since cuti, both of us been busy yang melampau. missing him like craaaaaaaazy!! owh yea, maaaaaybe next week im gonna be aunty 'again'.heh
blambak gambar baru. if rajin i might post the photos heeeree. IF yee, I REPEAT 'IF' rajin. well heck, its 3.03am. Im off to bed. nite

when i was weak

2009-11-08T19:06:00.002+08:00

Last Friday masuk hospital due to major breakdown. Collapsed in the hospital & was discharged on the next morning. Thanks to dear BF,Iza & Schmey for sending and accompanied me. They willing to sacrifice their sleeping time for me. I might be dead if they didnt send me to the hospital. I lost accessive of water and was very weak. Thanks to that event, now I know who's the true friend.

twitter

2009-11-02T19:00:00.002+08:00

You feel like an outsider amoung your own friends. Tryin hard to fit in but you dont feel welcome.
I think its best for you to walk out of this place & I know that you
cant wait to get your ass back in Seremban rite Meen?

you made me smile... see?

2009-10-26T00:23:00.008+08:00

fake smile to all of you. thank you.

p/s : above photos was captured by DHR & this post is not dedicated to neither him, my family nor my TRUEFRIENDS. Its for those ppl who care less of me.

danial harith manyak hamsap hooo

2009-10-23T22:33:00.003+08:00

ookay the title mmg xkena langsung with this post. Kindly ignore the title but please do bare in mind that he is a hamsap person but i still love that boy.

---------

Tomorrow my fav couple will be here.
They are none other than deary Mama & Daddy. But sadly they will go back to Seremban on the next day.

to whom it may concern

2009-10-11T18:49:00.003+08:00

Im not a pious person. Im not a straight A's student. Im not that all good but I do cared bout other people's feeling & respect them as well. My point is that do they think of me? No. I doubt that. Did I shut em' down? Yes, by my silence. Im tired of caring too much for other people. They dont care bout me. Really they dont & if they do, they would play the role as a caring person. To who? Everyone but me. Sadly, Im nobody to em'. Maybe Im just someone they know by the name Syarmeen. Ive no intentions of pickin' a fight with anybody. This is me, I write.

this is me

2009-09-30T19:33:00.004+08:00

Q : How do you handle manusia yang hypocrite? backstabbers? two-faced?

A : Its easy. Just do the same. If they hurt you, hurt em' back but in a different way. Its lame if you keep on doing the same routine like those pricks do. If they dont like you just fuck off with them. They might say that youre the one thats being a hypocrite, backstabber, two-faced & all shit but hell to them. Im not trying to say that you can just break the law & do whatever you wanna do. Its just that do what your heart feels right. You can compose a song about them. You can write a poetry, letting all feelings go through your writings. You can go shopping or anywhere to free your mind from all your problems. & You can even cry cuz its not wrong to cry. Ive lost few close friends. Ive cried. Too many tears wasted for those fools but its okay. After all sobbing, many came & gave me their warmest hugs. I thank Allah S.W.T for all the luck of still having true friends, family & loved ones that supports me and help me in many ways. Bottom line.. be you cuz nothing feels way much better than just being yourself.

saya punya sudah hilang. awak bila lagi?

2009-09-29T14:45:00.004+08:00

Petang semalam Ive lost my handphone gara-gara tertinggal di kaunter Mini Toons. Kuyah jadi orang kuat ketika saya transform into gadis yang pasrah kehilangan harta yang disayangngi. Terima kasih Raja Kamaliah(nama sebenar Kuyah.ehe). Burst into tears til boyfriend kemari.

Malam menjelma so bought a new simcard. Still using my old number but too bad tiada handphone. Terasa diri ini seperti anti-sosial yang bangat cuz there's no contact with anyone outside of UITM Penang. Teramat cilaka + sialan terhadap makhluk yang dipanggil manusia yang merupakan Syaitan yang tibai handphone saya. Kecian sungguh akan handphone saya kerana kini ia dinodai puas-puasan by orang yang tak dikenali. Mungkin handphone saya sudah berada di kedai handphone yang bakal dijual as second-hand punya handphone.huuuuuuuuuu

Saya memang sedih yang extreme + hardcore. Lagi extreme + hardcore dari mana-mana lagu teras keras yang digemari.

whose gonna go

2009-09-24T03:12:00.004+08:00

it doesnt matter. burn everything. no words just silence. forever black-eyed

quote

2009-09-13T13:39:00.000+08:00

I fear being like everyone I hate, I fear failure, I fear losing control. I love balancing between chaos and control with everything I do. I always have a fear of going one way or another, getting lost in something, or losing everything to get lost in. And I fear being a completely acceptable sheep in society. I never said to be like me, I say to be like you and make a difference.

Marilyn Manson

crappin

2009-09-07T11:32:00.003+08:00

Hallo.

Saya tidak sabar hendak pulang ke rumah no.54.
Saya sangat rindu akan keluarga disana.

Hari ini saya akan menemani boyfriend membeli-belah baju raya.
Mungkin juga situasi akan bertukar menjadi boyfriend yang menemani saya membeli-belah.

Saya akan pergi ke bilik mandi selepas selesai dengan blog saya ini.
Saya sudah selesai menaip.

Semoga kita bertemu di lain hari.
Itupun jika ditakdirkan untuk bertemu.

Selamat tinggal.

nota kaki : Saya tidak kekok menulis dalam bahasa melayu walaupun saya berdarah campuran.

new persona

2009-08-21T17:05:00.007+08:00

Yes, I cut it short. After this im gonna
say yes to bald.

Okay just kidding. I only chopped it bit. So yea my head feel bit lighter than ever. Starting from today Im gonna vow to myself that I wont circumcise my hair nemore melainkan terpaksa, atas dasar hujung rambut rosak because syiok colour rambut after grad from high school.
Whatever it is, hair-I still love you.

p/s: boyfriend said I looked younger in short hair.ahahhahahah

tattooed me

2009-08-18T22:38:00.005+08:00

The heart of a sensitive person suffers too much to love.

eyes on the new crown(hair)

2009-08-13T20:53:00.005+08:00

pentingkan Ipod :(

BIG smile people. That was right after I force him to smile. (mmg xikhlas senyum)

showin some hmmmph. okay I dunno what to call that. wth

The mata layu boyfriend/perasan diri tu org Jepun & the headmetal girlfriend.

yang pasti tomorrow my hair will revert to its formal style.
that is, small messy curls.huuuu.mau mau big curls
demyu hairrr
:(

nota kaki for Mista Japan Freak : Thanks hubby. Next week we go shopping k :P

I dont have a title for this post.

2009-08-11T08:48:00.006+08:00

Last few days, a stranger;an artist wants to draw a potrait of me. Ive tried to ignore him but I failed. So I sat on a chair til hez done with the drawings.

Once his fin, I took a look at the potrait.
I can see that I looked rather gloomy than what I expected.

Yes, I am not in a good state at the moment
& yet I am pretending to be "Miss I-Dont-Give-A-Fuck"

p/s; Ma, I cried last night.

the refining

2009-08-10T08:07:00.005+08:00

Had a weird dream last night. Was in a circus, bumped into those faces that I dislike. Its funny knowing the fact that I hate them but yet I had fun with 'em & I even said the opposite of what I feel to them.
Me hypocrite? perhaps.

Me being a hypocrite, that does not make that Im wrong.
Me full of hatred & ego? No. Not that.

The truth is Im just tired of people that are not sincere.

Who are these people?

well.. it could be you.

recovery

2009-08-08T12:02:00.006+08:00

currently at McD with mista Japan Freak. had our breakfast & lunch here. just done with the validation thingy for my course. now other than blogging, me browsing around the internet world looking for informations about Nelson Mandela, Hedonism/Promiscuous Sex & bunch of reason why married people choose to distant themselves as in D.I.V.O.R.C.E for my so unwanted assignments. after im done with this hunting season(padahal cr info jer), we're gonna off to Gurney. Shopping shopping shopping to mend this heart.(my medicine for recovery.heh)

I miss home. I miss those fav people of mine who I left there. Talked to mama last two days. She told me that Kak Nini is pregnant. Cian my baby Adam. so soon nak dapat adik dah. owh cant wait for this December, for the arrival of my very 1st niece. Abang Zekry's. Looks like Im gonna have 3 babies by next year.heeeeee sumpah teruja.

I miss MY bestfriend. I miss MY bestfriends.

qin'ai wo de nan pengyou, wo ai ni.

listening to Hole - Valerie loves me

mellow moe

2009-07-31T16:29:00.004+08:00

~Baby, I found out something.

What issit?

I love you so much. sangat sangat.

Why do you still love me after what I did to you?

Cinta tidak mudah putus.

Im so sorry for everything..

Its ok, as long as we love each other & that I want to spend my life with u. Only you.

(diam)

Award Girlfriend Paling Teruk goes to Syarmeen anak Farmy.

just another blablabla

2009-07-29T01:26:00.008+08:00

Just now bumped to blog orang yang I berfirasat melabel I as gadis plastic. Terkejut.
Never thought that human being berblogging juga yaa.heh Mungkinkah human being itu tahu kewujudan Meenah Merapu Laa?

Mati-matian ingat today is Tuesday. Dah masuk Wednesday. Tomorrow balik Penang.
Rasa malas yang melampau. Nasib ang la Ermin jadi driver dari Seremban-Penang.

Today mungkin paling lama tatap laptop. Settled download more than 20 songs kot.
Not forget that I siap sempat edit photos then upload few photos yang
I dah berzaman nak upload kat myspace & facebook yang selama ni tak kesampaian
because of my sifat malas yang amat. (okay one loooooong sentence without sebarang tanda koma coz malas sangat. nah ,. koma & tititk sekali. ok sorry ini memang tak masuk akal. pretty please abaikan)

Gelang kaki baru putus. So now kaki saya bogel.
or dengan erti kata lain sesiapa hadiahkan me gelang kaki baharu.

Dah lama tak terjah pesta musik teras keras. Dah putus minat? HELL NO.
tiada masa lapang. If lapang pun pasti sifat malas bermaharajalela.

kurang berblogging & berposing since melangkah ke uitm. again coz sifat malas bermaharajalela.
tapi makin rancak download lagu secara haram

sayang sangat kat budak rumah. bagaikan adik-beradik but laen mak bapak.
berlagak macam kakak kat rumah. padahal diri tu lagi petite dari mereka (lebih gemar guna petite rather than shortyyyy so shhh)

WANA, WAWA, ME & KUYAH

Oh ya, gadis comel+comot itu is my adiebaba.
terjumpa gambar ini masa dok korek2 segala folder yang ada dalam laptop.
this photo was taken on her 19th birthday. kasi surprise. mukanya dicomotkan atas lesen encik buncit dia. bukan tak sayang.memang sayang dia.

If anda perasan, most of my last sem photos kat
myspace~me pakai grey mng cardigan. (sila scroll ke atas untuk tatap above photo.)
Oleh itu, I decided to angkut mooooooore cardigan to Penang.

Ive realised that last sem I banyak bazir duit sangat sangat. paling jelas RM100++ hanya untuk tounge piercing yang dipakai tak sampai 3/4 months. This sem kire okay skit. Just bazir Rm5 for nose piercing yang dipakai less than 2days

Ikutkan hati nak berblogging hal lain. again n again sifat MALAS ~~nak luah~~ bermaharajalela.
Moi

listening to si gadis dot

my mind has fucked me more over times than any man could ever know

2009-07-23T21:19:00.010+08:00

Penjaga atau Peneman. Aku tak pandai pilih. Mungkin takut salah pilih. Ditunggu lamanya untuk Peneman. Lambat. Mungkin tak redha tunggu. Ini kali pertama Penjaga belayar. Kadang-kala tersilap langkah. Mungkin tidak mengapa. Bagaikan menatang minyak yang penuh. Ratu baginya. Mungkin ini Raja aku.

Peneman membuat pengakuan. Terpana. Mungkin keliru seketika. Dalam hati wujud lagi. Kisah lampau kembali hidup. Mungkin masih mengharap. Bersama sahaja. Bermain tipu dibelakang. Mungkin tak sedar. Tidak mahu begini. Hendak jujur akan Penjaga. Mungkin mahu setia.

Dikhabarkan kepada Penjaga. Pecah jiwanya. Mungkin akan mengorak langkah pergi. Tidak berganjak. Teguh berdiri disitu. Mungkin masih sabar. Peneman masih mengharap. Mohon dibalas kasih. Mungkin tak mahu mengalah lagi. Dihimpit antara dua. Penjaga atau Peneman. Mungkin semuanya ditolak. Tidak mahu sakitkan sesiapa. Penat berlakon kuat. Mungkin kecewa sendiri.

Diputuskan Penjaga dan diusirnya Peneman. Dikorbankan diri. Mungkin tak mahu pilih kasih. Dirasakan diri jijik. Kejam. Mungkin kerana mengkhianati hati. Penjaga dan Peneman masih ada. Memujuk hati. Mungkin keduanya setia.

Dipinta Peneman berundur. Peneman akur. Mungkin sudah mengerti. Penjaga kembali menuntut hak. Tidak mahu pergi. Mungkin kasih utuh. Penjaga mahu sehidup semati. Walhal jiwanya hancur. Mungkin sayang tidak putus.

Ku mohon ruang dan masa. Tidak mahu terburu-buru. Mungkin untuk menenangkan jiwa. Dirasakan diri tidak layak. Kelihatan gadis jahat. Mungkin sifat bersalah kian menebal.

Tidak maafkan diri. Menangis selalu. Mungkin benci sendiri...

currently listening to Laura Marling-New Romance

Naked as we came

2009-07-14T21:23:00.001+08:00

She says wake up, it's no use pretending
I'll keep stealing, breathing her
Birds are leaving over autumn's ending
One of us will die inside these arms

Eyes wide open
Naked as we came
One will spread our
Ashes round the yard

She says if I leave before you darling
Don't you waste me in the ground
I lay smiling like our sleeping children
One of us will die inside these arms

Eyes wide open
Naked as we came
One will spread our
Ashes round the yard

anchor

2009-07-07T02:03:00.003+08:00

I stand with a blank expression now
and I can't believe myself
will someone tell me how
did I get here
I am walking
changing slowly
I am chasing
climbing closer...

lifehouse

leave / stay

2009-06-29T22:40:00.030+08:00

okay I know that blog kata I post this on June 29th. yes i thought of posting something before Im off to LCCT but then today I realised that it was sv as draft. so instead of terus post, I decided to write a new one. so here goes~

Im back again. Penang. I hope I stay longer in Seremban. Stayin there for almost 2 months teramat tak puas. I dont feel like leaving Seremban. I just want to stay there, home.

Me : Mama, Meen tanak balik Penang!!!

Mama : If tak balik, gelap ar masa depan.

Me : Why life skang nie tak cam org dulu. Umur baru baper belas je but dah kahwin.

Mama : Orang dulu yang umur belas-belas dah pandai masak

Me : erk?..

ooookayyy Ma. you win big time.

my new home is almost just almost perfect.heh. not so far from Uitm. its gonna be 5 girls staying here. still looking for at least 1 or 2 more girls to join us. the girlfriends are all well-manered. NO minah clubbers or kaki todi etc. I selesai unpack my stuffs. My room sangat sangat niceeee :D every room ada its own cupboard & this house also ada a very complete kitchen. Daddy bought for us the dining table & my very own study table. Thank you Daddy. now My family kat Langkawi. huuuu havin' fun without me :( but its okay cz they're comin' back to Penang to visit me before they balik Seremban. yeaay leyh jumpa my lil Adam lagi. hm..im already missing my family & of coz miss those ppl yang teramat bijak meng-wonderful-kan my life.heh. here I put photos of few ppl yg bijak tu :) (sila tenung photos dibawah puas-puas)

Anep (the driver), Me(tayang gigi) & Ewat(mata kuyuuu)

Mun(exploring the phone), Anep(citt control) & Abg(smileee)

Mun (NYUM NYUM) & Anep (?)
Abg ( smileee lagi) & Ewat (smileee too)
Mun (promoting Nokia)
Me & Mun (both berpopek)

it was last Saturday. my last hangout with them before Im off to Penang.
weyyh rindu angpa semualaaa.

Okay gotta get ready. mahu pergi breakfast bersama tercinta.
dun wanna make him wait for me lama-lama. heee. later

p/s: I post a video of Superchick. its hey hey. one of my fav. its totally me . enjoy

dejavuu

2009-06-18T21:51:00.005+08:00

surfin' around the world of photobucket & i bumped into this,

thee & the moon
no more three.

...................................

zero

2009-06-16T02:09:00.003+08:00

rindu Mye

rindu Mun

rindu si Poet

rindu hero jadian

rindu golumn

rindu Azrin

rindu abg

rindu kak lis

rindu Wana

rindu Wawa

rindu Kuyah

rindu adiebaba

rindu botak

rindu gadis2 mechy

rindu intan

rindu seri pg

&

rindu Danial Harith

dh lame xwat bende alah nie

2009-05-18T11:40:00.004+08:00

MY WEDDING PLAN
(sounds interesting eyhh??)
tagged by adeebaba :)

1. How old are you?
totally nineteen

2. Are you single?

happily taken ♥

3. At what age do you think you’ll get married?
maybe tomorrow! heh gatal :P

4. Do you think you’ll be marrying the person you are with now?
insyaallah

5. If not, who do you want to marry?
i dont like this question

6. Who will be your bridesmaid or your bestman?
my aweks

7. Do you want a garden/ beach or traditional wedding?
garden please

8. Where do you plan to go for honeymoon?
he said he wants to take me to Egypt for honeymoon :)

9. How many guest do you think you’ll invite?
just close ones

10. Will that include your exes?

perhaps

11. How many layers of cake do you want?
depend

12. When do you want to get married? Morning or evening?
evening

13. Name the song/tune you would like to play at your wedding?

dear juliet - if the moon fell down tonight or anything that sounds totally acoustic

14. Do you prefer fine dining or just normal spoon/fork/ knife?

fine dining

Champagne of red wine?
no please

16. Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?
days after the wedding.

17. Money or household items?

both! pretty please :D

18. How many kids would you like to have?
three would be just fine.

19. Will your record your honeymoon in DVD and CD?
mungkin :D

20. I want to know their wedding plan,
kak nani
myemo
cik jude
missy eireen
kak kaz
kak j

kembar?

2009-05-18T09:41:00.004+08:00

For the very 1st time ... her students & friends habaq that both us are look alike.
so now ceq nak tanya angpa semua.
seiraskah???

owh by the way, the nerdy one is my Kakak :P

May 7th

2009-05-08T12:08:00.004+08:00

So maybe life is no fairytale and maybe Im no princess. Im not perfect but after all that Ive been through.. I finally believe it's worth it. Now I finally have what I want. Who knew it could be so true? So many broken hearts and so many forgotten faces. I almost gave up all hope. I didn't think it could be true. I never thought I would fine someone but I was wrong, because
I found you.

I LOVE YOU DANIAL HARITH BIN ROSLI

apa itu nombor sembilan belas?

2009-05-07T04:46:00.004+08:00

Petang semalam aku jatuh.Kesannya buku lali jadi bengkak buruk. Sempat menitiskan air mata suci seketika (mungkin gara-gara malu yang extreme+sakit Ya Rabbi). Aku mengorak langkah bagaikan orang tempang. Dahla baru habis final. Thought of celebrate it with my roomies but heck terkena benda sialan pula. haih.

Nasib baik aku bukan bersendirian. Cik Wawa kita jadi peneman aku dikala tragedi 6Mei menimpa diri... Aku dipapah hingga ke bilik. Letak minyak pe tah , sembang popet then terus shoot tidur. Wana siap melawak kata aku dah dapat hadiah hari jadi pertama wth. Udahla esok hari kebesaran aku bertukar umur 19 tahun, terkena suwey. Apakah malang nasib?

Makan malam bersama dhr di foodcourt. suka-suka
Dah la jalan serupa orang tempang but still ada hati nak dating.ehe

Tempat jam 12.ooa.m aku habiskan waktu di dalam bilik bersama gadis².
One by one tinggalkan bilik. yang ditinggalkan just Baiya n me. Jenguk hp. Menimbum msg masuk-semua wish " happy birthday". hm.ada jugak yang ingat kat aku kn.

Hati bertambah suka-suka bila dhr call. Aku jawab. No voice tetapi dengar akan bunyi petikan gitar. Aku kenal lagu itu. Lagu BIRTHDAAAAAAAAAY. Kedengaran pula suara jantan-jantan Malaya menyanyi mengikuti alunan muzik kegemaran aku itu. Hati bertambah extreme suka-suka bila gadis-gadis aku masuk ke bilik dengan kek hari jadi.

Sumpah aku totally freakishly terharu yang teramat! Aku nangis. Tak pernah manusia yang aku kenali buat sebegini hanya untuk aku. Tambah pula bila si pihak lelaki pun sama-sama bikin hati ini suka-suka.

Celik mata nanti aku harus redah unit kesihatan. Kaki still sakit. Berdenyut gara-gara tak tahan sejuk. sah masalah urat. Encik Doc yang handsome tolong pulihkan kembali kaki saya. Saya mahu jalan-jalan bersama dhr,heh gatal naa. SO dengan erti kata lain, Im happy.

Owh yea, hari ini juga sudah cukup setahun aku berpegang akan title single.
esok lusa ceq tak tau cmna.

Anyway thanks to them for everything.

Sekian. Selamat Tidur.

abcdhr :P

2009-05-05T21:18:00.008+08:00

TODAY. Ive found the right apartment to rent. Thank you Daddy

ESOK. Its gonna be my last paper.E to the C to the O to the N to the O-M-Y.

LUSA. 19.19.19.19.19.19.19.19.19

sugar daddy

2009-04-29T23:56:00.004+08:00

cant wait to meet daddy tomorrow. seeing daddy with his new punk skin hairdo which is botak licin!! ahaa. this gonna be the 1st time ever seeing him with his so-called botak head.ahaha. but then he told me that dah tumbuh rambut bit. owh well sugar daddy cant wait to see you.

ai ni

2009-04-25T10:40:00.003+08:00

when is it little, its when we spend little time outside together
when is it less than usual, its when you think your not cute, you think less of yourself
when is it moderate its the distance i keep myself from touching you
when is it medium-well its the definition of our relationship
when is it abundant its how much we care for each other
and last my mind is smothered with the thought bout you all the time
and you should be drowning in my words now-dhr

p/s : hell yeah im drowning gara-gara your words dhr! Mye ceq jatuh cinta kembali :P hahaha

doa

2009-04-07T09:30:00.002+08:00

tomorrow Mama, Daddy & Kak Nani pergi umrah.

tak dapat hantar ke Airport.

~sad

penat

2009-04-05T14:11:00.009+08:00

penat nak explain bila ada je yang tak faham apa yang aku perkatakan. bodoh issit? c'mon la wahai hamba Allah s.w.t. kamu tu pandai buat perangai. orang tembak sedikit dah terus nak berangin. disebabkan blog aku yang teramat pedas for certain people, ada yang buat decision putus kawan ya? hebat hebat. aku cukup salute dengan mereka bernama manusia yang dulunya panggil aku kawan. heh funny you.

tuk pengetahuan umum. before this aku pernah tulis pasal minah. dipanggil lin. yea bekas kawan aku. bagaimana leyh jadi bekas kawan? sebab dia tak nak mengaku aku kawan dah kan. mengapa tak nak mengaku dah? kerna aku suka tulis pasal perkara sial tentang dia. siap letak title perempuan sial . tak perlu cari ye. dah hide dah pun. now dia masih benci aku, infact siap pernah mengeluarkan satu statement sayin aku gila kecoh sambung belajar ke menara gading. eventhough membenci diri ini tetapi masih membaca blog aku.
lawak ar kamu.

.............................................

de lagi satu blog ni. mengenai mereka yang aku, kamu & mereka panggil whores. ada input pasal clubbing, gadis2 sexy(hotstuff uuuu), kaki todi etc. right afta selesai post itu blog, aku pinta teman baik baca because bagi aku lagi molek kalau aku yang promote sendiri kepada dia daripada orang laen yang inform pasal hal merapu nie. padahal blog tu bukan untuk dia pun but somehow aku dapat agak that if she read it memang comfirm gila dia terasa. lepas baca memang betul la ada hati yang terguris. sesi maaf-memaaf pun berlangsung. thank god sudah stabil emosi itu. aku bajet dia beranggapan positive but too bad Meen, not everyone boleh tahan with your words of wisdom. its was almost 8 months ago but siapa sangka all this while, that dear friend of mine is still hurt by my words, my actions yang teramat brutal bagi dia.

a bestfriend wouldnt post a blog about you.

yea its true.

well hey that blog was not for her. seriously its not for her. its for those ass-cums bitches. no matter how many times ive told her that it was not for her but still she just wont listen. siap buat decision sayin that we're still friends but not rapat cam dulu. what the fuck?

3years cm xde pape je kan? selama kita berkawan aku yang paling banyak beralah. aku je yang paling beriya nak stay close ngan sume orang. aku je yang sayang this friendship. last time aku tengok her page. aku dah turun status. same goes wit galah but cam biasalah kan mesti aku yang jatuh teruk. tadi aku baru tengok her page lagi. aku dah tak wujud. wah sangat hebatt. thank you friend. dia seriously nak buang aku?. fine. aku dah malas nak jadi the last one standing. the one yang selalu bertahan for this so-called friendship. aku dah tak nak menangis.
SUMPAH AKU PENAT IQA.

siapa tak nak kawan Syarmeen lak?

superman joke

2009-03-22T00:17:00.006+08:00

was on my way to Melur's Restaurant after Maths class then ntah camne I ternampak this...

WTF? HAHA

nak buat report.ive been tag by mye oh mye(i miss u too mye!)

2009-03-20T02:44:00.004+08:00

1. Anda rasa anda hot?
skit pun tak

2. Bila kali terakhir makan pizza?
last year?

3. Lagu terakhir anda dengar?
Bless The Fall-Take Me Now

4.Apa yang anda sedang buat selain dari tag ini?
hospitality? quiz quiz quiz

5. Selain dari nama anda sendiri apa nama yang anda suka dipanggil?
meeny? menox? kecheek?

6. Tag lagi 5 orang.
a. kak nani
b. iqa
c. judy
d. akim
e. kak kaz

7. Siapa no 1.
kakak tersayang

8. Siapakah orang no 2.
my lawyer to be.heh

9. Orang no 3 ada hubungan dengan sesiapa?
mista anonymous.ehe

10. Bagaimana dengan orang no 4?
akim yaa? heh.ceq xtaulaa

11. Nak kata sesuatu berkenaan dengan orang no 5?
nk chocolate cupcakes. pretty pleaseee :D

go away cupid. i mean it. pretty please

2009-02-22T06:34:00.007+08:00

Its temperature rising. I could be happy or maybe in distress. You planned on sending me flowers. I wanted chocolates instead. They say I'm never satisfied. They say I'm much too cocky. They say I never did appreciate but when I stop to think about the way it was.. I'm glad that I'm here. I've had some bad times. I've had some mad times and I also had some sad times when I sang the blues. There you go without warning you rang my doorbell. You brought excitement. You gave me boxes of chocolates. You told me your secrets. You wanted to take away my grey days. You even called me your crazy girl and I think its okay.

untuk santapan mata :
This is Chocolate ~~Boy~~ Baby.
mari-mari be my anak :D

everything's fine

2009-02-12T12:44:00.010+08:00

it's been awhile since i've updated my merapu bloggie. been super highly busy. seldom online unlike my gfs here that will online whenever they hd the chance. too much GOOD dramas here. hee. will update about that or maybe not :P

overall im happy here. the new gfs are all awesome & the guys..
well what can I say is that they're all just fine+yummy.ahahahha (okay meen stop it!)

I miss Seremban like hell alot! cant wait to balik! huuu.
rindu segala makwes & pakwes there.
yea you guys know who im talking about.

oh oh mama. saya mahu mama disini leyh?

All egos aside, what do you say?

2009-01-28T03:07:00.009+08:00

tension builds
its not getting any easier
i give up
im tired of this shit
im leaving this behind

from now on
i wont love, eventho my heart desires it
it do me no good.

maybe i'll catch fire

2009-01-12T23:15:00.002+08:00

you know that feeling when you just want to lie down and go to sleep for a year
and when you wake up maybe the world won't be against you any more?

That'll do, pig, that'll do

2009-01-11T21:18:00.002+08:00

Left your t-shirt in my room
Still smells of you
And the picture you hung on the door
Lay smashed, picture perfect
Explains now
Clearly nothing left but a memory
We only made out
You never kissed me
That's how I learned to hold back all feeling

Wait, please don't go
I won't stay
All these words on replay
I'm okay
It's all right
Good to know that you're fine

Pretending everything is right to make it better
I'll hide my make-up smeared eyes
To show that I'm fine

Some how you have managed to get under my skin
More than anyone ever did
And if every hole makes a scar
And every scar marks its place
Then I will never live freely without your trace
And it'll never be fair
I wrote my songs for you and you never even cared
So I'll forget you
I'll wash your t-shirt and kill the pillow
And cut you out of pictures

Wait, please don't go
I won't stay
All these words on replay
I'm okay
It's all right
Good to know that you're fine

Pretending everything is right to make it better
I'll hide my make-up smeared eyes

This drama sat shotgun
My eyes rained like autumn
Only the glove box knows how the story goes
Now that this bandage is broken
And the cuts left in open
I'll tell you just one thing
This wasn't worth the sting (x3)

Make-Up Smeared Eyes - Automatic Loveletter

homesick

2008-12-31T15:38:00.004+08:00

penat penat penat penat.
blog sepi sat na

hero

2008-12-25T01:55:00.007+08:00

Left behind my skies tonight.
So few stars yet they shined bright saying goodbye to you,
and I said Love I’ll be seeing you soon.

separa happy

2008-12-24T11:54:00.006+08:00

dapat transfer to UiTM Bukit Mertajam!
esok nak grak Dungun then baru tadi dapat tau pasal hal transfer nie. gilaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
yea yea esok the whole family berkonvoi hantar.
lagi best they wont miss my cousin's wedding except I laa kan.
hm..whatever. okay i serba-serbi happy sedikit. at least Daddy dekat.
pape pun I hate the part where I'll be away from them.

p/s: Penang, tunggu sat ceq mai.

purest feeling

2008-12-23T20:24:00.001+08:00

semalam Daddy call pasal uitm. he said that memang comfirm I stay kat Terengganu nanti.. bukannya I dont want to further my studies kat sana. boleyh selamba redah je kot but yang tak syoknya I memang comfirm jarang balik ar pe tah lagi jumpa those people that I love the most. If dapat transfer Penang, gila riang weyh! senang skit Daddy nak spy on me, senang skit Daddy nak bawa I balik Kedah if cuti, senang skit Daddy nak belikan I segala barang keperluan & paling penting senang skit Daddy nak hulur² fulus because I amat malas nak mintak sedekah kat ATM.hehe

last Saturday, my elder brother belanja family makan dinner at Kemayan. we ate mcm² food. then later after that we're off to the cinema. usya Histeria. ada scene yang scary menjadi, ada scene yang lawak bodoh, ada scene yang memang tak leyh blah. pape pun I dont like the ending. semua K.O except for that Liyana Jasmay heh? hm.enough about the movie. at least I get to spend some quality time with my family. Lately nie rase makin jauh. issit because Im moving away? I dont want to go but harus ke sana gak.. for my future. education amat penting.

today my current boyfriend tidur in my arms. ntah berapa kali dia kena cubit by his mameen before dia dibuai mimpi indah because mengada bising. ahh yeahh ceq garang so what? semakin nakal & terlebih manja dah dia. within 2 days I akan pergi jauuuuh. nanti kat sana sure rindu nak peluk dia, sure rindu nak cium dia, sure rindu nak ajar dia sebut new words, sure rindu nak ajar dia bertatih jalan, sure rindu nak dukung dia, sure rindu nak tidurkan dia, sure rindu nak petik gitar tuk dia, sure rindu nak geletek dia & most importantly im gonna miss Adam Luqman :(

semalam girlfriend bertandang ke rumah. she said she wants to quit & join the airlines? dia kata dah tak mampu nak teruskan. issit a right decision or sebaliknya? diri memang tak support.
& thank god her parents pun tak bagi dia stop. so yeaa dia akan terus mentelaah eventho hatinya tak rela mungkin.
hopefully dia tak berhuha sangat sampai lupa dunia.
I tak nak dia sesat on her own path..

last week si poet told me that semalam dia termimpi perkara kinky & lagi tak boleyh bla bila I muncul pula dalam mimpinya.ahaha bodo la hang Anep. after this Im off to Dungun.. nomore movie marathon kat MBO , nomore jumpa aunty kaunter yang kata you stupid (shh.hehe), nomore tukar² lagu, nomore popek pasal anak menakan masing². hm.im gonna miss this.

kelmarin went to art for grabs bazaar organized by The Annexe. ada pelbagai benda dijual like paintings, photos, buku-buku, music, t-shirts & tak lupa juga handmade dolls. ke sana bersama
si hero jadian. pelbagai adegan berlaku :) few hours later, kami ke our next destination setiawangsa. bertemu girlfriend lagi satu. dapat juga lepaskan segala dendam rinduuu. lepak makan makan isi perut maklumlah si hero jadian belanja.ehe. too bad tak dapat dating lama coz girlfriend ada kerja. then we're off to Golem's college. amik dia pastu grak wangsa maju. lepak minum² (note that bukan minum² as in minum minuman yang boleh membuat anda mabuk todi) kemudian hantar dia balik rumah sewa. then off we go balik Seremban.
now dah start rindu hangpa semua :(

malam after pulang dari joyride bersama si hero jadian. before tidur, masuk bilik Mama.
Mama dah ready nak tidur. naik atas katil terus hug Mama. I cried. I dont want to be apart from you ma. takut maybe.

Daddy sampai rumah. gotta pack my things. im leaving this Thursday. nanti pasti akan hyper busy. wont have the time to ber-blogging or anything..

haih.

I received this gift

2008-12-18T17:51:00.016+08:00

ada orang merapu popek di shoutmix

katanya ada hadiah

sepantas kilat buka blognya
tercari-cari akan hadiah tersebut
terjumpa sesuatu di sudut kanan muka blognya

yang tercatat di atas graphic ini

-PALING DARING. THIGHS?

-------------------------------------
paling daring mungkin dari segi entri² yg lps.
thighs? hm..nie mesti kes gambar profile.
haih.meen oh meen .tu ar terdedah le sangat(or mungkin ceq salah tafsir?)

hahahahaha
its okay.meen xmarah.meen sedang chillin' :D

neway thanks Amer & anda sudah di-link :)

bunga ros

2008-12-16T01:02:00.005+08:00

I know who are my friends now. I'm thankful for the people in my life. It doesn't matter if we don't see each other every single day or if we're close or not because what matters most is the honesty in our friendship. No lies, only truth. Friendship is not about caring whether you're rich, cool, popular, skinny or beautiful. It's about wanting to be a good friend to someone, helping them when they fall, reminding them about what's wrong, stopping them from doing anything stupid, accepting them with open hands, telling the truth even if it hurts and so on.

All my life I've always tried hard to be that friend and I'm not perfect,I admit. I've had mistakes but I've learned from those mistakes. I used to bitch about people I don't like. But in the end, it didn't do me any good. I lost my close friend.

Im sorry.

hiasan

2008-12-11T12:21:00.005+08:00

segala kecacatan jelas terpancar indah
yang manis hanya bab tudung kn kn

sick darling

2008-12-08T11:54:00.004+08:00

demam. nyampah
but if masuk hospital... SUKA!!!

reason suka masuk hospital-->

lagi mudah tuk berat body turun menjunam :D

p/s ; Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha to you & your family .

mari ber-tag

2008-12-06T11:10:00.007+08:00

1) do you think you're hot?
I xhot, I sejuk.

2) upload your favourite picture of you

3) why do you like that picture?
kerna I impikan sayap. Mahu terbang jauh.

4) when was the last time you ate pizza?
last month kot

5) the last song you listened to?
Automatic Loveletter - Make Up Smeared Eyes

6) what are you doing right now besides this?
downloading music, stalking :)

7) what name would you prefer besides yours?
my name shj. Syarmeen binti Mohd Farmy

people i tag
1 ; kak Nani
2 ; Jude
3 ; kak Kaz
4 ; Rizal
5 ; eireen
6 ; & sesape yang mahu diri di-tag

8) who is number 1?
my kakak yang berlagak seperti adik.

9) number 3 is having a relationship with?
single mingle kot :)

10) say something about number 5?
penulis blog terkemuka.ahahahah

11) how about number 4?
my sifuu in graphic design. currently beliau semakin sibuk.

12) who is number 2?
girlfriend baru. banyak persamaan. mahu kahwin dengan dia jika ada jodoh

13) finally, tell about number 6.
unknown -_-

camping

2008-12-05T19:53:00.008+08:00

just got back from camping at PD semalam.
It was a blast & hell yea I had so much fun there.
I mmg dalam mode tudung season masa kt sana.
ber-camping for 3days 2nights.
Dalam suasana fun-fun, ada juga terkena tempias Emily Rose.
Me? I pula kena ngorat dek bende yang tidak dapat mata dicapai.
sekaligus di-chop as PENAKUT.
owh well, lantak pi arr.

Jee, Faiz, Me & Fiza.

snap lots of photos
tapi berkenan kat photo ni je. :)

kereta lagi

2008-12-01T03:11:00.006+08:00

CHOP!! This time bukan pasal my car.
Its all about teman punya kereta a.k.a hero jadian a.k.a babi.
eheheh :D

after hours of so-called joyride
tetibe kereta orang kena hentam dek orang yang tidak sempat
tuk mengelak malapetaka tersebut. impact-nya sgt masyuuuuk .
berjam lamanya lepak di balai tuk buat report kat pak polis.
kami juga masih sempat buat lawak bangang di situasi yang sedikit tegang itu :D

view depan.

amik view depan. belakang tak amik
kang kene gelak besar bler orang tengok buntut kereta.

ni ha hero jadian a.k.a babi

joyride yang berakhir dengan adegan thrilling.
terima kasih babi. i lap u lah. huahuahuha. padan muka hang! :P

me whore kah?

2008-11-29T00:55:00.004+08:00

myspace

From: baddd
Date: Nov 28, 2008 3:23 AM

hi...minat nak dpt duit extra
takder seks...cuma isap jer....minat?
leh ofer dlam $400 ingga $800

kalo minat reply kay...
kalo tak...sory ya....jgn jgn mara...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

diri ini berniat nak reply cmnie
.
.
.
.
ahahahaa.
awak babi ar

owh well, I didnt reply/

p/s: if nak tau sape si jahanam tu. sila double click disini.

hallelujah

2008-11-26T03:09:00.006+08:00

daddy daddy cepat pulang.
Meen setia menanti the new electric guitar that you bought hanya for me :D

I didnt ask Daddy about the brand, colour etc. Im just glad that akhirnya dapat gak merasa berpunya electric guitar serta amp sendiri.huhu. Thanks Daddy. Sayang Daddy *aww gedik~

p/s: Boy a.k.a adik tersayang jangan jealous.muahahhaa :P :P

poetry

2008-11-25T00:31:00.005+08:00

attention people!

Ive just create a new blog khas for my puisi-puisi karat.ahah
so im going to transfer all my puisi-puisi karat
yang ada kat Meenah Merapu Laa to shewrites-imperfections.
mari-mari usya my new blog :)

jujur, amanah, ikhlas, sopan-santun & berpegang pada prinsip.wtf?

2008-11-24T03:09:00.003+08:00

Tajuk Hangat:PERIHAL 7 JAWAPAN

anda mestilah JUJUR,AMANAH,IKHLAS,SOPAN-SANTUN DAN BERPEGANG PADA PRINSIP... HEHEHEHE

1. 7 ciri wanita/lelaki idaman anda.

- sehaluan.sekepala

- teramat gagah perkasa tuk melindungi jiwa perasaan saya

- hebat bermain sebarang jenis alat muzik. lagi molek if guitar

- tidak mengerti apa itu ego

- romantis :)

- gemar akan segala gemersik alunan lagu teras keras yang diiringi dengan jeritan si vokalis

- senang bercampar gaul dengan kawan-kawan saya

2. 7 wanita/lelaki yang pernah anda minati sepanjang hidup.

-incredible haq

-si capang a.k.a atok

-apex

-machaaaa

-die hardfan kobe bryant

-megatron

- future husband(cepatla muncul.cepatla anta rombongan.dh xlarat nk tunggu anda muncul)

3. 7 perasaan sekiranya keluar dengan seseorang yang anda minati.

- segan

- teruja

- nervous

- hati berbunga

- syok

- hyper

- syg syg

4. 7 tempat istimewa yang ingin dilawati bersama pasangan anda.

- pelangi

- bintang paling jauh

- syurga

- outer space

- pesta muzik teras keras

- pantai suci bersih

- pelamin kami.muahaha

5. 7 barangan/sesuatu istimewa yang mungkin akan anda hadiahkan pada pasangan anda.

- penampar

- cubitan 360

- hadiahkn aksi tarik rmbt si dia

- anak patung yg agak scary & seakan menyerupai saya

- suatu puisi cinta romantis. wah wah

- baju yang direka khas untuk si dia

- kasih sayang saya :)

6. 7 tajuk lagu yang akan anda nyanyikan untuk pasangan anda.

- Damone-up to you

- eyes set to kill-give you my all

- go betty go-runaway

- PlayRadioPlay-even fairytale characters would be jealous

- soko-take my heart

- the cardigans-happy meal

- the sounds-24 hours

7. 7 rakan yang anda tag dan mahu mereka buat PERIHAL 7 ini.WAJIB!!

- saya baik hati. toksah nak tag

current boyfriend

2008-11-24T02:24:00.005+08:00

introducing my current buah hati

buah hati sedang tidur.
tiba- tiba niat jahat datang kemari.

tadaaa~
baby mohawk
not using any gel.
hanya guna peluh yang de kt his head.muahaha

sayang selamanya :)

bukan pancit tetapi pecah

2008-11-24T00:59:00.008+08:00

TARIKH KEJADIAN : 17 November 2008
MASA KEJADIAN : 5/6 lebih p.m kot

bersama adik tersayang.
destinasi pilihan - rumah oh rumah.
without salam, encik malang datang menjelma.
malas nak cerita banyak
tenungla photos dibwh puas²

bkn pancit. its pecah ya.
akibat bergesel dengan divider

panik yang teramat trus call hero jadian for help

hero jadian mula beraksi

malangnya hero jadian dapat membantu setakat itu SAHAJA.
saya ulang- setakat itu SAHAJA.
peralatan yang sedia ada tidak dapat settlekn bab tukar tayar

hero jadian, adik tersayang & diri ini hanya menunggu rescue sampingan.
few mins later kak nani muncul
dia trus roger hero besar.

akhirnya hero besar merangkap kawan daddy
yang juga merupakan owner workshop sudah selamat muncul.

ini tayar pecah tadi.
hero besar berjaya menyelamatkan keadaan.

after tukar tayar, hero besar pesan bertandang ke his workshop pada esok hari.
sebelum pulang ke rumah masing-masing, hero besar perintah isi angin kt tayar dulu
segala kerja isi angin tayar dilaksanakan oleh hero jadian
akhir kata, terima kasih buat hero jadian, adik tersayang, rescue & hero besar.

hey Meen,
hang ngan kete almost every month ada je masalahnya.

haaa~ mengong

sms u

2008-11-13T21:12:00.005+08:00

sms bersama seorang teman dikala masuk air

A : bongok u
S : babi u
A : :-(
S : whats up u
A : baby u
S : fuck u
A : dem ah u
S : chill ar u
A : hate u
S : serious u?
A : kiddin u
S : hampeh u
A : i bengang u
S : why u
A : u babi i u
S : wtf u
A : pening u
S : awat pening u
A : ckp cmni u
S : ok. jom stop u
A : O k u. Yes. Haha
S : pfft..

*laen hari aku balas.